iMustache?
by xXACCEBXx
Summary: Freddie starts getting overprotective of Sam. Why, do you ask? Well, because her new boyfriend has a mustache. Fluff. Inspired by "Mustache" by Heartland.


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**Don't ask…This may be even stranger than Pickles & Fries as far as oddly inspired fluff goes. The songs "featured" in this are "Mustache" by Heartland, which inspired this, and "Cherry Bomb" by The Runaways, which appears in one of those I-hate-you-but-really-like-you Seddie fights. Awesome songs. Enjoy.**

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**Mustache**

"_Hello Daddy, hello Mom, I'm a ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-cherry bomb!"_ Sam shouted in time to the music, using a fried chicken drumstick as an air guitar and strumming furiously in time with the music.

"Can someone tell Sam she is not Joan Jett?!" Freddie shouted from the sofa, trying to fix a bug on the iCarly website. He was saying it mostly to himself, considering Spencer wasn't home, Carly was staying after school, and Sam wouldn't listen even if she could hear him.

He felt something hit the back of his head and watched as an orange rolled across the hardwood floor. He looked up to see Sam, poised to throw another one.

"I wasn't trying for Joan Jett, that was totally a Cherie Currie impersonation," she explained, as he ducked to avoid the second citrus assassin.

She reached for another, but took a look at the drumstick and decided to pause her assault for a snack break. She set the orange on the island and sat down next to him.

"So, what's wrong?" she asked, observing the layers of coding he had on the screen.

"That's the thing, I don't know! I mean, I know it's a code error, but I can't see it," he turned the screen toward her, as if she could help.

Her eyes scanned the monitor before pointing out a line of code, "You missed a semi-colon there. Could that be it?"

He looked at her as she looked away nervously, "I took a couple classes over the summer. I don't know why, but I felt bad that you had to do all the coding for the web show that Carly and I get the credit for. Lapse of kindness I guess…"

"…thanks," he said hesitantly, not really knowing how to answer her. With that, his own eyes scanned the line of code and picked out the error, correcting it, and found that the bug was fixed. "You're not half bad. Maybe I should give you the password…"

"It's Carly," she interrupted. "It's always been Carly…"

He noted an angry tone at the last part, and tried to figure out what it was, but his thoughts were interrupted when she took the laptop off his lap. He watched her over her shoulder as she logged into Footblock. He noticed that her profile picture was with some guy.

"Sam, who's the guy in the picture with you?" he said, leaning in closer to see him better.

"Oh, that's Erik. We've been on a couple of dates…but it's nothing serious. Yet…"

Suddenly, he felt overprotective for no reason at all, "And what is that on his face?"

"It's called a mustache. You know, that thing that guys grow once their balls drop," her finger skimmed over his bare upper lip and laughed. "Well, maybe YOU don't."

"He looks like a seventies porn star! How old is he?" he said, ignoring her. At the same time, he was trying to hide the concern in his face.

"He's only thirty five!" she said, trying to hold her laughter at Freddie's facial expression before she added, "I'm kidding. He's twenty."

"Twenty?! No, he's way too old for you…" he said, standing up and crossing his arms.

She looked up at him in disbelief, "Geez, DAD! What's got your panties in a twist?"

"It's just, he looks like that one dude from Hall & Oates…"

"Oates?"

"Yeah! Or Jeff Foxworthy. Or Jason Lee. Or…David Crosby! Eew…"

"Are you just gonna stand there and name guys with mustaches?" she said, not amused.

"Ahh, it's just…why would you kiss a guy with a mustache? It seems like it would like kissing a…rodent or something."

She stood up to face him, "I don't see why it's any of your concern who I kiss, Freddifer."

"Because Sam…" he shouted, though still at a loss for words. Instead he pulled her toward him and kissed her roughly, still angry that someone else had beaten him to it since their last kiss. To his surprise one of her hands came up to his face as she kissed back. He pulled back slowly in shock. She was smiling. What about mustache guy?

"What about Mustaaa—Erik?" he stuttered. He was finding it hard to concentrate while she still had her hand on his face. She must have realized this because she shoved it in her pocket.

"He's my gay cousin you freak…" she said, blushing. "I was trying to make you jealous. I just didn't realize it would work so…quickly."

"So, you've never kissed him?" he asked hesitantly.

"He's my cousin! And he's gay. And on top of that, that porn star mustache is…ew," she said just as awkwardly, before raising her finger to graze his upper lip. "No, I haven't kissed anybody since…well, you know."

"So…you mean, I'm the only guy you've ever kissed," he said, smirking proudly.

"Oh, here comes the cockiness. Yes you are, and if you'd never had that fling with my sister, your record wouldn't be so great either," she said, punching him lightly below the ribs before letting her hand graze his side.

"Well, I didn't kiss her back. So…technically, you're the only girl I've ever kissed," he said, pulling her toward him.

"Yeah, well let's keep it that way," she said, before she broke away to lean down and grab the orange she'd thrown earlier.

"You're dangerous," he commented as he pulled her toward him again, trying to disable her throwing arm.

"What can I say? I'm a _ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-cherry bomb!"_

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**Haha, LOVE that song. I'll just leave that song as innuendo toward where I think Sam and Freddie are headed...LOL. I know this is really short and choppy but whatever. I don't want to screw it up with filling, so this is what you're going to get. The whole thing was pretty fluffy don't you think? Then again, the whole Seddie genre just asks for fluff. Do you agree? Anyway, please review. I'll love you forever and always (and I don't mean in a Jaylor way, that would suck) Luvz y'all! -xxaccebxx**


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